Acts Of Service

In case you missed the other posts about The Five Languages make sure you check each one out and make sure you take some time to see what your love language is too! 

Quality Time

I sometimes wonder if every Farmer’s love language is Acts Of Service. When I am helping my husband fix a tractor, fence out a field, or even clean up a shed I feel like he is sometimes at his happiest. And I kind of wonder if my brother in laws are the same way…

Needless to say the guys on our farm love having their wives around to help. With anything. Is your farmer like that? Quality time is spent on Acts of Service?!

If you think your farmer’s love language is Acts Of Service the best way to his heart is for you to show up to the farm with your work clothes on and simply ask “What can I do?” or “Where can I help?" Helping them do their farm chores and working along side them is going to show more love than buying them a new shirt in town. I only use that example because sometimes I do come home with things from town for my husband and he just doesn’t get as excited as I would like him to. But, after our daughter is down for her nap and I show up outside with my work clothes on ready to help him with whatever he is doing he gets pretty excited!

If your farmer’s love language is Acts Of Service you might hurt his feelings if you are willing to help out everywhere else and with everyone else and not with him or her on the farm.  I know when I spend a lot of time volunteering within the Ag industry or am gone at conferences or speaking engagements my husband gets a bit anxious for me to get home and come back to the farm. 

Before our daughter came along I showed up in my work clothes a lot asking "What can I do?". Now those times have changed a bit. Those times don't happen nearly as much, and they rarely happen with me being alone. These days I get myself and our daughter dressed in our work clothes and show up and say "What can we do?". Even if it is something as simple as picking rock or helping him put a part on in the field I would say my farmer appreciates it. 

Receiving Gifts

This could potentially be everyone's favorite Love Language. We have already covered Words Of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. But, who doesn't love anything to do with gifts?!

I know I love gifts, but it isn't just what I need to maintain our relationship.

If your love language is Receiving Gifts it's safe to say you love getting gifts and you do not forget special occasions.

Anniversaries..Birthdays..these are days you won't forget. And you expect your loved ones to remember them too!

You might appreciate when your farmer heads to town and brings you home something a little special. Whether it's a milkshake or a movie, it's a little something to show you how much they care.

These pictures are my husband and I both trying to be sneaky trying to take photos of things that we know would be perfect gifts for each other. However, we both seem to forget that now with us both having iPhones we can see eachother's pictures!

Now, I have went to town and brought my husband things. Like his favorite candy, a new work shirt, new socks even, and I don't get much of a reaction. I get a thank you and a smile. Now, when Christmas rolls around I always get him one gift that I know he really, really wants. It's normally a big one and most likely an expensive tool. I spend all year listening to him and saving money without him knowing so I can buy him whatever it is he has talked about the most. When he opens that gift on Christmas he normally gets really excited. The first year we were married and I bought him a DeWault Miter Saw I thought he was going to die of shock.

He might forget that I do have a degree in Agricultural Education and I do have to teach shop, so I do know my tools...but I also know my man and am real good at observing him in stores and jotting down various notes later that night in my prayer journal (so I know he won't accidentally see them!).

If your significant other loves receiving gifts, forgetting your anniversary will break their heart. Even if it's something as simple as pulling a few wildflowers on your way into the house from a long day in the field. They will love it. My husband brings me rocks. Because he knows I think they are neat and I despise planting flowers around our landscape only to have our two dogs destroy it. So, when he digs up rocks in a field he keep a pile somewhere and when we have a spare moment he drives me by the pile and asks if there are any I would like.

Even the smallest, most inexpensive gifts are still gifts. Still thoughtful and still require an act of love.  

Physical Touch

In case you are just tuning in my last two blog posts have been about The Five Love Languages. Since we have had a lot of illness in our house this winter it seems I have spent a lot of time cuddling with our daughter and catching up on my reading. I love The Five Love Languages and I think it's truly the perfect book to help understand your partner just a little bit more.

I have already covered Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Today I want to talk about Physical Touch.

Now, let's be real, if you are a man reading this blog post the first thought that probably had to pop into your mind is sex. I am just being honest. For most of you women out there you may have thought about sex for a split second but you are really thinking about cuddling on the couch, sweet embraces, or holding hands as you grocery shop. All of these, including sex, are all considered Physical Touch and if your significant other's love language is Physical Touch they are all areas you should consider strengthening yourself in.

All acts of Physical Touch mean something to the person whose strongest love language is just that. Talking to them and gently touching their arm or lower back is reassuring. A quick kiss before getting into the car is super sweet and will make their heart melt on the spot. Reaching for their hand as you walk into a store is perfect. Even a quick squeeze of the shoulder in a crowded room let's them know you love them.

Something that doesn't work for those of you that have a love language of Physical Touch? Not being touched, or feeling like your partner is absent in that area of your life. And any form of abuse is wrong, but physical abuse would be unforgivable. Not to mention completely destructive anyway.

Feeling love through Physical Touch is important and something that as we grow in our relationships and marriages somehow takes a back burner. While Physical Touch may not be my love language I will say that even having my husband reach for my hand during a difficult moment in our life helps me feel comforted and loved. I draw strength on knowing he is there. And Physical Touch is a great way of showing that you are right there and you want them to know it!

If you haven't taken the test to determine your love language, please do. I actually think it would have been fun to take while my husband and I were in our early stages of dating. It really would have the set the groundwork for what we "needed" from each other!

Quality Time

In case you missed the first part of this series of The Five Love Languages make sure you see it here.

I am on a journey of re reading the book and also finding more ways to apply the principles in my every day life.

I seem to have tied in my love languages when I took the test. I tied with Words Of Affirmation and also Quality Time.

I can see this... as I love spending time with my husband. Love. Love. Love. It doesn't matter what we are doing, working in the cattle yards or cuddling on the couch. I just love hanging out with him. He really is one of my closest friends.

Spending a Sunday afternoon working in my calving shed putting up a new working chute. 

Quality Time is something we all appreciate, some more than others. Long car trips are things we really look forward to. Well, I do anyway.

It might mean having a buddy to run errands with during the week, sitting at home just hanging out and talking, long walks at dusk. These are all things you might appreciate if your love language is Quality Time.

Family Quality Time feeding the cows

Some things you may not like...being alone for long periods of time. I know I hate it. I always look forward to trips back home to visit my family or Ag conferences. But, it takes about two days in and I am already missing my farmer.

Hanging out in a group may get old. For me, this really doesn't apply too much I think. I love hanging out with our friends and I rarely turn down a chance to hang out with them! Especially now that we all have children, we never want to pass up that adult time!

When my husband and I first started dating all I did was sit in the tractor and ride around with him. Oh, how I miss those simple times! Now to spend some quality time it means hauling our two year old and at least one bag of toys and another of snacks!

If your special someone loves riding around in the tractor with you all day, conversation or no conversation, their love language might be Quality Time. So, cater to it! Enjoy just being their friend. And hanging out. Being together.

Here's to cuddling and long days in the tractor!

Words Of Affirmation

It has been a rough winter in our house this year. It seems we have gotten sick and gotten better, only to get sick again. 

We have both spent a good chunk of our time being sick. Which means for me lots of reading, relaxing, and taking care of my sick little munchkin. We have had lots of cuddle time which means the chance for me to pick up my favorite books and get a nice refresher. In the Five Love Languages to be exact. 
If you don't own a copy of the book or have never read it, I highly suggest it for any relationship! I know it has certainly helped me understand my farmer a little bit better!
Words of Affirmation. That is the first love language I want to talk about. It just so happens to be my love language. Well, one of my love languages. I am actually tied with Quality Time.  
One thing I love about my husband is he loves to shower me in compliments, most of the time. Even if it's something I do on the farm without him asking me, or something around the house. I also love when he encourages me. When he tells me I am doing a great job while running the grain cart or that the paint in our basement looks nice (even when I don't think it does!). 
One thing that I take pretty rough is when someone I am close with lashes out or says something harsh out of anger or simply having a bad day. It really hurts me and it's sometimes hard for me to forgive right away. 
My hubby really caters to my love language. Even without knowing it sometimes. He never, and I do mean never, forgets a special occasion. And every special occasion he writes me a very special letter or card with sweet words just for me. 
Makes my heart melt every single time! 
Finding your significant other's love language can really help you both when it comes to finding just the right way to say "I love you". 
To find your love language go to their website. I would love to hear what you think about the test! 
And I am looking forward to talking about the other love languages in the next few weeks. Next up...Quality Time.