Trust In A Relationship

Trust to me is one of the biggest parts of a relationship. And being married to a farmer that is gone a lot means that trust is pretty vital to the relationship. 

Trust is something to establish early on in your relationship. I am guessing many of you have experienced hurt before. Or at least when my hubby and I first started dating we both had. We had both been hurt in the past in situations where trust had been broken. So, needless to say that was one of the first conversations we had. 
Trust and honesty go hand in hand. The first time a lie is shared, even if it’s a small one you knock away a little bit of that trust. Have you ever had anyone in your life that you have caught time and time again being dishonest? Eventually, you stop believing them. You stop trusting them. You find them unreliable and most likely will choose to move on. 
It takes time to build trust, sometimes years, but only suspicion to break it down. 
Sometimes I feel like as a farm wife I get asked a lot about how I feel about my farmer hubby being gone all the time. In any other situation where a husband works long hours every day of the week and for months at a time is at work more than he is at home, things could seem a bit off. Well, maybe a lot off. 
But, one thing I am sure of is the trust in our relationship. I trust my husband because of the relationship we built before we were married. And I know we are honest with one another. Before we were married I saw him work on the farm through every season. There is no doubt in my mind I know where he is at midnight on a perfect starry October night...In a field trying to keep his eyes open. 
But trust isn’t just about monogamy. It’s also about trusting someone to care for you as you care for them. You are entrusting them with your heart, your feelings, your desires. And you are trusting that they always will have your back and will always be by your side. 
Being married or dating a farmer can sometimes be a bit daunting and if you don't come from a farming background it can be really hard to learn to trust your farmer. 
As Ernest Hemingway said “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
And finding yourself in a relationship with a farmer and establishing that trust together is amazing. And although farmers may work long hours and be gone for what seems like forever. They are also the person you can trust to be your support, even if they aren't physically there all the time. I know my farmer in only a phone call away and when I feel like I could use some of his support I call him up and we chat for awhile. 
Remember Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to. 

Receiving Gifts

This could potentially be everyone's favorite Love Language. We have already covered Words Of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. But, who doesn't love anything to do with gifts?!

I know I love gifts, but it isn't just what I need to maintain our relationship.

If your love language is Receiving Gifts it's safe to say you love getting gifts and you do not forget special occasions.

Anniversaries..Birthdays..these are days you won't forget. And you expect your loved ones to remember them too!

You might appreciate when your farmer heads to town and brings you home something a little special. Whether it's a milkshake or a movie, it's a little something to show you how much they care.

These pictures are my husband and I both trying to be sneaky trying to take photos of things that we know would be perfect gifts for each other. However, we both seem to forget that now with us both having iPhones we can see eachother's pictures!

Now, I have went to town and brought my husband things. Like his favorite candy, a new work shirt, new socks even, and I don't get much of a reaction. I get a thank you and a smile. Now, when Christmas rolls around I always get him one gift that I know he really, really wants. It's normally a big one and most likely an expensive tool. I spend all year listening to him and saving money without him knowing so I can buy him whatever it is he has talked about the most. When he opens that gift on Christmas he normally gets really excited. The first year we were married and I bought him a DeWault Miter Saw I thought he was going to die of shock.

He might forget that I do have a degree in Agricultural Education and I do have to teach shop, so I do know my tools...but I also know my man and am real good at observing him in stores and jotting down various notes later that night in my prayer journal (so I know he won't accidentally see them!).

If your significant other loves receiving gifts, forgetting your anniversary will break their heart. Even if it's something as simple as pulling a few wildflowers on your way into the house from a long day in the field. They will love it. My husband brings me rocks. Because he knows I think they are neat and I despise planting flowers around our landscape only to have our two dogs destroy it. So, when he digs up rocks in a field he keep a pile somewhere and when we have a spare moment he drives me by the pile and asks if there are any I would like.

Even the smallest, most inexpensive gifts are still gifts. Still thoughtful and still require an act of love.  

Finding Someone Who Completes You

If you haven't heard the phrase "you complete me" used once or twice I feel like you must be living without technology..And since you are on this blog I am guessing that is also not likely!

I remember growing up and having high school romances and my friends and I over-using the phrase "he completes me".

If you do a quick google search you will find music, images, poems, magazine articles, and let's not forget the infamous line being use in the movie starring Tom Cruise, Jerry Maguire.

I think once I got into college and really started thinking about where I wanted to be in my future, and more importantly who I wanted to share my future with, my thoughts slowly changed.

When I think of completion I think of a finished product. I think of being whole. I think of Jerry Maquire.

I then think of my marriage. I never want my marriage to be completely finished. I always want to be changing, evolving, growing.

I don't think I want someone to "complete" who I am as a person. I think of "you complete me" as in "I can't live without you because you complete me".

I may not want my husband to complete me. But, I do want him to compliment me. I want us to each have our strengths, our weaknesses, our own talents. And come together to strengthen one another. The yin and yang of life.

However, one could look at it like I was a complete person then I met my husband and now my life feels incomplete without him. Which is somewhat true.

I feel like I will never be complete, I will always be striving to be a better person, a loving wife, a great mother. I will change over time. My passions in life may change, my goals, my priorities. However, my life wouldn't be the same if I wasn't growing, changing, and evolving with my husband together.

I complete myself. And we compliment each other. I want to continue to grow and evolve as a person and I want to continue to grow and evolve in my relationship.

I think this is another favorite part of our marriage, my husband lets me grow and change as I need. And because of that we continue to strengthen our marriage every single day.