Trust to me is one of the biggest parts of a relationship. And being married to a farmer that is gone a lot means that trust is pretty vital to the relationship.
Trust is something to establish early on in your relationship. I am guessing many of you have experienced hurt before. Or at least when my hubby and I first started dating we both had. We had both been hurt in the past in situations where trust had been broken. So, needless to say that was one of the first conversations we had.
Trust and honesty go hand in hand. The first time a lie is shared, even if it’s a small one you knock away a little bit of that trust. Have you ever had anyone in your life that you have caught time and time again being dishonest? Eventually, you stop believing them. You stop trusting them. You find them unreliable and most likely will choose to move on.
It takes time to build trust, sometimes years, but only suspicion to break it down.
Sometimes I feel like as a farm wife I get asked a lot about how I feel about my farmer hubby being gone all the time. In any other situation where a husband works long hours every day of the week and for months at a time is at work more than he is at home, things could seem a bit off. Well, maybe a lot off.
But, one thing I am sure of is the trust in our relationship. I trust my husband because of the relationship we built before we were married. And I know we are honest with one another. Before we were married I saw him work on the farm through every season. There is no doubt in my mind I know where he is at midnight on a perfect starry October night...In a field trying to keep his eyes open.
But trust isn’t just about monogamy. It’s also about trusting someone to care for you as you care for them. You are entrusting them with your heart, your feelings, your desires. And you are trusting that they always will have your back and will always be by your side.
Being married or dating a farmer can sometimes be a bit daunting and if you don't come from a farming background it can be really hard to learn to trust your farmer.
As Ernest Hemingway said “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
And finding yourself in a relationship with a farmer and establishing that trust together is amazing. And although farmers may work long hours and be gone for what seems like forever. They are also the person you can trust to be your support, even if they aren't physically there all the time. I know my farmer in only a phone call away and when I feel like I could use some of his support I call him up and we chat for awhile.
Remember Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.